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‘The devil is love’

“Would you please just use the pens I left you instead of everything else in this house that isn’t meant to write with! I don’t think you understand how much time I’m spending cleaning up all those messages! I’m fine with a poltergeist who helps me with my agenda, but I’m done cleaning lipstick from my mirror and toothpaste from the door!” Sarah yelled at nothing in particular but knew she was being heard.

She had just come home and found another message on her kitchen door, reminding her a beloved friend was visiting tonight. This time it was written with ashes from the fireplace. Sarah went into the kitchen and found another message on the door of the fridge. Judging by the quality of the message, it was a recent one, written with ketchup. It was a grocery list for tonight and ironically the last sentence wrote ‘And you are out of ketchup.’ All she could do was laugh. She wrote the list on a piece of paper and talked to the ghost again. “If you can write with ketchup, you can write with a pen. Just stick the paper on the fridge, saves me cleaning!”

After Sarah was done cleaning both messages she grabbed the grocery list and a bag and went shopping. Although it was a hassle to clean up all those messages, the poltergeist did make her life easier. Sarah always had a problem remembering things and she spent half her life apologising to people. Now she felt she had a personal assistant, without the hassle of hiring one. Coming home Sarah had to hurry to prepare dinner, get dressed and clean up some loose things. Just as she put the last pillow straight the doorbell rang.

“Jenna! So good to see you! How have you been?” The two women sat down on the couch.
“Sarah, so good to see you too! I brought a bottle of wine for dinner. Your house looks lovely! I love what you have done with the place.” Jenna looked around as she handed over the bottle.
“I will pour us some glasses, I’ll be right back. You have to tell me how Louise is doing, are you still together?” As Sarah walked into the kitchen to open the wine, she saw the dry-erase board up in the air. ‘Not now!’ she thought as she rumbled about for the bottle opener. She looked up again at the board and read ‘They broke up, don’t mention it again.’
“Oh shush, like you know everything!” she whispered angrily at the board. It fell with a light thud.

“Is everything alright Sarah?” Jenna called out from the living room.
Sarah emerged from the kitchen holding two glasses of wine. “Yeah, just an apple that rolled of the counter, no worries.” She gave Jenna one of the glasses.
“Cheers!”
Both girls took a sip of wine and went silent for a minute.

“Now, Jenna. Tell me, are you two still together?” She looked at her friend and waited for an answer. Jenna sighed and took another sip of her glass before looking up to Sarah.
“No, we’re not actually. I caught her in bed with another,-“  that made the waterworks come out, “another… a man!”
Sarah was shocked. Not only because of the cheating but also because the dry-erase board was in the air again. Just behind Jenna’s back and it read ‘Told ya!’. She waved it down while consorting her best friend. Jenna ended up staying the night, talking, crying and getting angry. Exactly what she had needed.

Sarah was knackered by the time she finally left. Both women had slept for a few hours, but it wasn’t enough. While she was making the second pot of coffee, she turned towards the room.
“Why are you being so nice to me? Helping me remember my appointments, making shopping lists… I thought poltergeists were supposed to be haunting you and driving one from its home?”
The whiteboard came floating out of the living room. Sarah was happy he finally used a normal way to communicate instead of anything laying around.
“It is true I am a poltergeist, but it’s not true we only make people’s lives miserable,” the process was slow, cleaning the board in between, “Hollywood ruined it for us. We are actually very keen on helping humans, we’re stuck here, why torment people?”
Sarah nodded. “I never understood the whole ‘I’m stuck on earth so I’ll just harass people’ thing. For what it’s worth, I really like you helping me.”

He drew a smiley face on the board. “And I like helping you. I wasn’t a very good person when I was still alive, so it’s my way of repenting before going before the devil.”
That confused Sarah. “What do you mean? Aren’t you supposed to go before God when you have repented for your sins?”
It took some time before the pen was brought up to the board again. “I really shouldn’t tell you this, but I can’t leave you hanging like this. It all comes down to a translating mistake really. They got it backwards, and no one has ever spotted the mistake.”

Sarah sat down at the kitchen table, trying to grasp what was told to her. “So all of the world religions are based on the wrong thing? That sheds a new light on things…” Absent-minded Sarah took a sip out of her mug, even though it was empty. The coffee pot came to her and the ghost poured her a new cup.
“So the devil is about love and God about hate?” she asked.
“Basically, yes. I won’t go into the details about the names but that is the bottom line.” He answered.
“Dear Satan…”