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To escape the zombie apocalypse you have to live on your own, hiding away in the woods. Make a list of items you would take with you, and why you would take those items.

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It finally happened. That one thing everybody thought was impossible, happened. And everyone always called me crazy for wanting to be prepared for this type of events. Well, look who’s laughing now! They spoke about a weird new virus on the news a couple of months ago. Nothing new, we already had Ebola, H1N1, bird flu etcetera. Nothing to panic about, until we became aware more and more people were falling to the virus and there wasn’t a cure yet. A pandemic broke out and everybody was in total panic mode. All kinds of security measures were taken which seemed to calm everything down.

Then the dead started to rise again and the full scale of this disaster began to show. By now the zombie apocalypse had begun. It’s every man for himself and I did my homework. I’m going to retreat to the forests and hide out the apocalypse. All that’s left to do is to pack my bag and leave. I bought a big hiking backpack years ago and after many a hiking trip I’m comfortable with that thing on my back. My trusty hiking shoes and jacket are already by the door. I walk over to the garage with the empty backpack, followed by my loyal dog, whom I will take with me, no doubt in my mind.

I move some stuff to the side to reach the box with emergency supplies. The survival handbook I toss aside. After that survival course last year I won’t be needing it and it saves me weight simultaneously. I take out the hunting knife and the survival knife with care, the last one I tie to my belt. The hunting knife goes on my leg, positioned so the tip fits into my boot. Now I’m prepared for every job, be it protecting myself or skinning an animal. The big flashlight is next, not just for some much needed light, but also very useful as a bat.

Calmly I take out all the zip-lock bags I prepared and check them all on their contents. Dental floss, pantyhose, lip balm, miniature bottle of vodka, tampons and some sanitary napkins. Even though it sounds like I want to look pretty in the forest, every items has a value of its own. Dental floss for setting snares. The pantyhose are for filtering water, catching fish, staying warm and about another million uses. Lip balm for my lips obviously, but also to close up wounds. And the vodka, tampons and sanitary napkins are used as first aid.

I also grab a small tin box with storm proof matches, a fire steel and some tinder. In a zip-lock too, because this has to stay dry above everything else. The bag with all my first aid items goes in the backpack as well. Another bag goes in, this one containing a small bottle of WD-40, soap and insect repellent.

As I get the big items I realize what I’m doing and I pause for a moment. Not only do I realize how big the task at hand is, I also realize I’m not packing smart. I take everything out of the bag again and start over by spreading everything out in front of me. First the stuff that I don’t use often. The small pot for food and drinks and the paracord go in first. Followed by my extra clothes – some underwear and socks, two shirts and some lightweight pants. The filtering tube for water goes in next.

The zip-locks with all the small items go in, along with some backup bags. A notebook with some pencils go in for the lonely hours of the day. All that is left are my dried foods and water, two rolls of duct tape – useful for everything and the flashlight. I put a box of bullets in the side pocket and attach a hammer to the front of the bag. My lightweight sleeping bag and tarp go on top.

I pick up the checklist from the box and check if I have everything. It seems I have everything, at least for me. On to the backpack for my dog. He is trained to wear it so it doesn’t bother him anymore. I put in a fold-up bowl, kibble and of course water. A compact towel and an extra leash go in as well. I check the list again to make sure I have everything.

My dog already heard the backpack and walks over calmly, so I can strap it on. Some people would call me nuts for taking the dog, for me it goes without saying. He is my best buddy and he can help and protect me. If anybody is coming, he will hear it before I do, and he can hunt small animals. Last but not least, I have someone to talk to, to keep me from talking to a volleyball if I lose my mind. I’m done with the backpack; he shakes his fur and barks a confirmation.

I get up and walk over to the small safe behind the toolbox. I open it and take out my gun and an extra magazine. I check all the moving parts and put it in the holster attached to the shoulder strap of my backpack. Lastly I take out the Leatherman tool and put it in my pocket.

With the backpack done I walk back into the kitchen. I fill a zip-lock with some salt, sugar, bouillon cubes and some energy bars. I fill my canteen with water and put it in the backpack. I fill up the dog bowl for a last big meal and grab something to eat for myself as well. I take one last look around, put on my coat, shoes and backpack, put the dog on the leash and close the door.
I restrain my fear and emotions, and with some newfound confidence I walk into the forest.